It’s only forever, not long at all

Time has very much been on my mind lately.

To be exact, it is probably the comprehension of time that has been at the forefront.

I just went to the 40th anniversary of the movie ‘Labyrinth’, a quirky movie by Jim Henson of muppets fame, written by Monty Python Terry Jones, and starring David Bowie as the Goblin King (and who also wrote the songs) and Jennifer Connolly in her first role. Essentially a teen babysitting her baby half-brother wishes the goblins would take him when he cries to much. They do and many dream-like twists and turns occur in the goblin labyrinth as Sarah finally outwits the Goblin King to get the baby back.

I was 19 when I went to the cinemas to see this movie. It’s a little intimidating to think that 40 years have passed since that that fresh-faced Adrian was starting his honours year at Otago. In some ways it seems like yesterday, in others a lifetime has passed by. I mean I’ve done a PhD, got married, became a lecturer, raised three sons to independence, supervised 78 postgraduates to completion, travelled, read a lot of Tolkien, listened to a lot of Kate Bush, played a lot of games, coached a lot of cricket and so on.

(By the way the movie holds up well, the practical effects are still amazing, the songs catchy, Bowie’s pants are still alarmingly tight, although there are parts that have not aged well, especially the early computer effects – I’d like to think of that as a metaphor for something!)

At a smaller scale, my granddaughter is about to turn one. (Note even the idea of being a grandfather makes me contemplate time a lot!) As an evolutionary biologist I have always said to my classes that, from an evolutionary fitness point of view, becoming a grandparent is the goal – you have reproduced and your children have reproduced. There’s not much more that you can do.

I’ve also found that being a grandfather is a wonderful job in its own right! It feels like the most important thing that I could be doing. So yah for evolution!

The last year has whizzed by and granddaughter has changed from an organic lump into a moving, noise-making, interactive Individual. Biology is amazing. But where did that year go?

The perception of time is a funny old thing. With regards to my granddaughter the last year has sped by. On the other hand, I got a bad concussion last January (I zigged when I should have zagged) and the recovery from that, still ongoing, seems to have taken a decade. Same period of time but contrasting experiences!

Our poor human perception of passing time can really get in the way of understanding science, especially the sciences that take place over long periods, such as evolution, geology, astronomy. A particular issues is getting our minds to comprehend just how much time there has been.

In my teaching I have used several analogies to try and get across the sheer scope of time. You want to take something familiar and use that as a metaphor. I’ve walked around the classroom where every step is 50 million years, I’ve used a rugby game where every minute is 25 million years. Usually, I am trying to emphasise that the dramatic stuff that we are most interested in happened recently and a looooooong time from the beginning.

So here I go again trying to give a sense of the time available for the history of the Earth! This time let’s think about ‘The Lord of the Rings‘. Most people know the basic story: Bilbo gives Frodo a magic ring which turns out to be the source of the Big Bad of the world’s power that must be destroyed in the volcano where it was made. Shenanigans ensue.

So, lets say we start with Chapter one and finish when the hobbits destroy the ring at Mount Doom (I know there is a prologue and there are several chapters after this but let’s stick with this basic journey of Shire to Mordor). In my copy of the ‘The Lord of the Rings‘ (LotR)this part of the story takes 916 pages. If the Earth forms with the first sentence of Chapter 1 “When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced…” we are at 4.5 billion years ago.

Each subsequent page is then the equivalent of 5 million years (still a period of time that is unimaginably long!).

First evidence of life on Earth appears around page 54/916. In our read through of LotR this is in the The Fellowship of the Ring – Three is Company where Sam and Frodo meet Gildor and the elves within the Shire​ as they camp after leaving Bag End.

“Before long the elves came down the lane towards the valley” ​

Prokaryote fossils (bacteria) appear in the fossil record​ around page 114/916 where Tom Bombadil rescues the hobbits from the clutches of a barrow wight. (The Fellowship of the Ring – Fog on the Barrow Downs)

“At these words there was a cry and part of the inner end of the chamber fell in with a crash.”​

We finally see complex cells (eukaryotes) – the kind that would lead to you, me and the trees over half way through on page 503/916. Gandalf and Aragorn are talking to a defeated Saruman in the wreck of Isengard (​The Two Towers – The Voice of Saruman).

“They came now to the foot of Orthanc.”​

Note that we have missed the hobbits fleeing the Nazgul and the Shire, Rivendell, the Mines of Moria, Lothlorien, Boromir’s death, the breaking of the Fellowship, Gollum, Ents, Rohan and Helms Deep!

Multicellularity, sticking more than one cell together to form more complex organisms occurs on page 709/916. Pippin and Gandalf have ridden to Gondor and are meeting with Lord Denethor​ (The Return of the King – The Siege of Gondor).

“Before long he was walking with Gandalf once more down the long cold corridor to the door of the Tower Hall.”​

The Cambrian Explosion, a point in time where we see fossils suddenly appear for almost all modern groups happens on page 803/916. We have sped past the journeys with Gollum, the encounter with Faramir and the Oliphaunt, and Gollum’s betrayal of the hobbits to Shelob and arrive at Sam rescuing Frodo from orcs after he has been poisoned by the spider (The Return of the King – The Tower of Cirith Ungol)

“At that rage blazed in Sam’s heart to a sudden fury.”​

Land is colonised by plants and animals on page 833/916.The siege of Gondor is in full swing and Denethor perishes in a bonfire meant for the wounded Faramir (The Return of the King – The Pyre of Denethor).

“Gandalf in grief and horror turned his face away and closed the door.”​

Reptiles, particularly lineages leading to dinosaurs become dominant by page 847/916 (The Return of the King – The Houses of Healing). Aragorn, Gandalf, Pippin and the wounded Merry reunite after the Battle of the Pellenor Fields​ where the Mordor forces have been beaten back and the Witch King destroyed.

“And get the pipe out of my pack, if it is unbroken.”​

The extinction of the dinosaurs and many other things occurs on page 893/916 where Frodo and Sam are lost in the mountain border of Mordor (The Return of the King –The Land of Shadow).

“The tops of the Morgai were grassless, bare, jagged, barren as a slate.” ​

The Primate lineage that becomes the Hominids, our ancestors, evolves​ on page 906/916. Frodo and Sam, starving and thirsty, approach Mount Doom through the surrounding wasteland (The Return of the King – Mount Doom).​

“Then let me carry it a bit for you.”​

Finally, on page 916 we come to the last 5 million year. Frodo and Sam are slumped on the slope of an erupting Mount Doom after destroying the ring (The Return of the King –Mount Doom). All of human history​ fits into the last sentence

“Here at the end of all things, Sam.”​

So is this effective? I guess one needs to know the story to get the full effect but even just looking at the page numbers will give you the right idea. Most of the interesting stuff happens in the last few pages. Almost nothing much happens in the first two thirds. Life, itself, arrives surprisingly early.

I feel like it helps me with to work with the notion of lots of time.

“It’s only forever, not long at all”

sings David Bowie in the song Underground in the Movie Labyrinth. The more I think about it, the more I think that this is a very perceptive line.

Still, I am out of time for now. I’m off to celebrate my granddaughter’s birthday.

 The author, Adrian Paterson, is a lecturer in the Department of Pest-management and Conservation at Te Whare Wānaka o Aoraki Lincoln University. He has experienced a lot of time.